Never tell the bartender “Surprise me.”


If you don’t know what you want to drink, please don’t tell me to “surprise you”. I don’t know what you like drinking, I’m not you. I know what I like and it’s probably not the same thing that you like because you’re an amateur drinker that doesn’t know what they like. More over if I happen to be in the rare mood to honor this ridiculous amateur hour request, you better not F*%&ing complain about what I make.

Whatever it is… you’re drinking it!

And paying for it!!

For the record not to be discriminating, this will most likely be a woman. If you’re a man and you have ever approached a bartender and said the two little words “surprise me,” you don’t deserve a penis, or the right to be out in public.


thank you.

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