The Bar Tab. Annoying things people do to bartenders with their credit cards.

keep it open

You’d think that the etiquette for opening a bar tab with a credit card would be common sense. That you wouldn’t need a lesson from Emily Post on public politeness. Just give the bartender your card, tell them to leave it open, sign it at the end. Easy, right? One would hope, but every night I work someone is going to make at least one of these annoying mistakes when handing me their credit cards.

It’s at the bottom of your purse. 

There is nothing more disruptive than costumers who are not ready. Especially if I’m busy, but even if I’m not. You have such a sense of urgency to flag me down and when I get to you, your card isn’t out? While I’m waiting for you to hunt through wads of tissue, compacts, tampons, and iphone accessories, I could be at the other end of the bar making money. Be prepared!

Can you back me up a few drinks before happy hour is done? 

Don’t ask us to charge you for something now that you want to get later. Happy hour is a short time span because it’s the bar trying to get people to come in when they wouldn’t usually. You’re being tacky.

How much should I tip you?

People ask me this all the time, I don’t know if they’re trying to be playful and cute or if they’re just morons. Don’t put me in that situation, what the fuck? Is this your first time out? Twenty percent is the minimum these days. How much should you tip me? How much is in your checking account? I think ATMS max out at a grand, I’ll take that if your putting me in charge of this num-nuts.

I’ll sign this shit when I am good and ready.

When bartenders drop a tab and they seem eager for you to close, it probably means they are on a shift change. Meaning their shift is over, they have dealt with 8 hours of shit and now you are holding them hostage until you sign. I can’t go home until I get a check out from a manger. I can’t get a check out from manger until all my tabs are closed. I’ve hovered around you 20 times or more, making it painfully obvious that I want you to sign your receipt. Still you’re sitting in drunk conversation with your party. You may be having fun, but we want to go home, just sign it, then continue on with your party. Let us free.

You stole my pen.

Don’t steal my pen!!!!!

Cash back.

Every night someone will ask me if they can get cash back, like I am an ATM. “I need 20 bucks for a cab. Can I tip you more and get cash back?”. Putting extra money on a credit card tip to get cash back doesn’t help out the bartender at all. Not only are we taxed on our tips, but we have to tip out to our bar backs based on how much we made. You’re an adult, why don’t you have cash on you? I don’t take out my garbage without at least fifty bucks in my pocket.

Let’s all pay separate, and close out every round.

You’re with 5 friends, you all order a drink and all take out separate credit cards. Now I have to run 5 different cards for 5 different $6.00 drinks. And then you do it again for the next round, and the round after that. All this paperwork because you can’t buy a drink for your friend. If you’re having us swipe your card so many times that the credit card company shuts it off, you’re doing something wrong. Twenty one year old’s and foreigners do this all the time.

There are a few more that I won’t go into greater detail about for the sake of a short read:

-The “I didn’t order that,” guy. He argues his tab.

-The “You have my card.” guy. He left his card at the last bar he was at.

And of course,

-The “Walkout”.  

 

 

 

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